7 posts tagged “dating”

Last night I grabbed my sack & made a move to talk to a guy. This isn't one of my strong suits, but definitely something I should do more often.
The guy was one I had been locking eyes with for weeks, but watched leave with guys who had a pair. I just couldn't get up the nerve.
Last night I saw him again, met his gaze twice, & decided enough stalling.
He was surrounded by a pack of nerds. We're talking glasses, sweater vests, & dockers...
So I think, 'Here's my opening. I can ride up & save him from the nerd herd.'
I stroll over, feeling pretty confident, I got this...
I introduce myself...
To the King of the Nerds. All I can say is thank god I didn't open with, 'Geez, what a nerd herd, huh?'
Now, I like a geek, gaming, comic books, Star Trek... I can hang.
He spoke a nerdalect I just couldn't follow. It may have been math-based, or C++...
So... Yay! I made a move, but I still got checked.

Tonight I am drunk enough that truth runs like wine, & the pen sweeps freely 'cross the page...
These are the words of a troubled heart freed by spirits of its secrecy.
Funny how the truth I try to hide is so easily read upon my face.
I'm leaving the bar again alone. Granted, there were virtually no men I could have, or would...
Not one man hit on me tonight, nada. This has become routine...
Now... I know I'm not a stud, I'm not young... I am attractive however. I try to send out good vibes...
*shrug
The voice of reason says get a grip; it's a bar scene. This certainly has some bearing... Yet...

Expectations & Truths...

That's a prevelant question often asked in gay dating or simple sexual interactions...
I have a friend who hates being asked if he's a top or a bottom.
I didn't really get that until recently. It's begun to bug me as well...
I understand the idea of preference; Makes total sense.
I just feel that so many GLBTs posture. Whether to appease a societal view or a partner.
When I look at my desires... I want to share myself with another person sexually. To me, this means share everything. Why limit what I experience? All things within reason...
This question has come to seem 2-dimensional in its view to me... Preferences aside, I think this is greatly an attempt to normalize our roles into heterosexual viewpoints. That helps our relationships make sense to them, & that's not a bad thing...exactly.
I hope as we begin to fit into mainstream society more, we don't lose sight of our cultural, psychological, & even physical differences that are inherent to homosexuality.
We should aspire to inclusion (not acceptance), but that inclusion should not require homogenization.

I was surfing the message boards & this question was posed.
I've been drinking wine, which makes me wax philosophic... Hehe
So... Here's my take:
An interesting thing to me is that the OP simply asked what qualities, and the word perfect was seemingly inferred...
I believe, whether they admit it or not, most people aren't looking for "perfect" exactly. It's more of an ideal we trying to re-capture.
Most of us are looking for a fairy-tale we heard as a child, that's how we understand love first, often... we want something magical to happen... we want that Hollywood love story. Maybe because fantasy has always been easier to digest...
Every time I've fallen in love (& I believe that LOVE is possible with more than one person) I was completely surprised by it.
Love is one of our greyest ideologies. It's so defining, & so ephemeral. It spans every culture, race, religion, and oftens divides at those same lines. If I can believe in a "god" it's actually the force of love... I can name numerous vile things that have been done in the name of a god, but none in the name of love...
Love is ephermal, it is fleeting, but a great force must be...
I'd rather submit to feeling good with someone, fleeting and glorious, than that scripted program we absorb as kids.
Heart-break is awful. How great is the alternative though?
What do I look for?
That next surprise...

What do you look for in a potential other-half?

I know you don't find love when you're looking for it. You usually recreate the facts around something to make it fit. I've done that, & I'm pretty good at recognizing the signs now... Hehe.
I'm not so much down about not having someone... It's something I'd like to find, but I still mostly believe it'll come along in time.
It's just that I'm not really meeting friends either. I'm turning into a hermit. When I go out to the bar I watch the Tv screen... That's a bad sign, right?
I feel like I'm internalizing too much. That would be fine if I was working on me stuff, but I'm not. I'm just sort of bowing out of the world it seems...
So... I figure I need to find a hobby. Maybe something social so I can meet people...

Pondering what to do...

I just read a post by a guy who was disappointed in dating, & blamed it on the shallowness of men... There's some truth there...
I have only myself to blame however; For I am a pussy.
I feared this to be true, & last night I proved it to myself. There was an attractive guy, clearly giving me the eye & I did nothing.
Leaving the bar I glance inside the taqueria next door, & there he is again. He smiled & gave me a wave.
I kept walking, then berated myself for being a coward. I turned around & went inside, trying to look casual as I placed my order.
Our eyes met several times, but still I pussed out. Then to add to it... His order comes up & he & his two friends sit at the table right next to me.
I wait quietly for my food, then leave without saying anything...
I glance back in the window, & he waves to me. I wave shyly back & go home to eat my quesadilla alone.
This is why I'm single.

Bust a Move!Or be single forever...

So... Here at the 'mo bar...again...
I'm cruising guys... Guys are cruising me...
And I leave... There are guys I could have tonight... Maybe even tomorrow...
But... I leave... I'll hate that its just me, but I'll leave alone...
Sadly, I still believe there's this guy who i'll meet... The one...the one...
God damn... That sounds so fucking stupid!
it echoes & I want to slap myself.
I'm 31 & I still believe in the Prince Charming myth...
I mean...seriously...I still believe... Its certifiable!
There's a guy who's perfect for me? What am I? Barbie?
I'm confounded, honestly. I'm so cynical, yet I truly believe there's this guy sort of hovering in the ether...waiting for me...
I'm confused now because I don't know whether I'm a cynic or a hopeless romantic...
I didn't think they could be so close to one another...
I'm a cynic... I know I am... Ask my friends...
Yet I believe this guy will walk up to me & i'll fall...